Groggy

Well, either Whole30 really does have me on a rollercoaster of energy (she’s up! she’s down!  the highest peak!  the lowest valley!) or another culprit is to blame.  I’m thinking it’s a combination of both.  It’s not that I fail to recognize the impact of a hunk of dramamine I bit off this morning, necessitated by the arrival at our boat launch only to find the boat rocking the dock up and down.  I get it – that made my brain as choppy as the open water.  But I don’t want to put all the blame on 1/2 of a 1/2 serving of meclazine.  I’ve found this food challenge impossibly squidgy to nail down and I swear every OTHER day I feel good.  Guess I how I feel the rest of the days?

Bad/tired/hungry/weird days like today leave me feeling far less optimistic about the future than chipper days like the last time I wrote.  I’m feeling a little grumbly/dizzy, and I reallllllly want to sip a gingerale to make me feel better.  Even if it only works in my mind, and produces no actual positive benefit to my body.  I’m feeling crankytired, so I reallllly want to enjoy something sweet and comforting to boost my spirit and temporarily spike my energy.  And I’m OVER the forever-long cooking process (not to mention the 30,000 minutes my husband & I each seem to spend washing dishes, cookware, prep bowls and the like), so I realllllly want to grab a pre-made granola bar, fix myself a sandwich on a napkin (sans plate means sans dishwashing!) or go to Starbucks to eat both of those things with my grande nonfat latte.  

I realized today that my kids are “suffering” a little, too.  Not because we are restricting their intake to a similarly small pool of foodstuffs, but because:  a)mommy & daddy are always cooking (my son tonight asked me what recipe I was looking for in Well Fed and when I asked how he knew it was a recipe book he replied, “Daddy is ALWAYS looking in there for a recipe”); b)the things we are always cooking offer no appeal in taste or smell, apparently, to my children (they are always whining about the smell!); c)dinner is now a slap-together-something-for-the-kids affair, since we end up preparing and eating dinner the two of us much later.  We enjoyed those 5pm powwows over the table, even if one kid was always spilling something and the other couldn’t stop talking long enough to take a bite.  Even if the food was “semi homemade” and probably 10X less healthy (with 10X more sodium).  It was nice to have and share a meal, rather than sit and watch them eat and try to remember not to instinctively lick the mac-and-cheese spoon.

Hopefully as we adjust after the 30 days, we’ll find better ways to eat/cook/schedule ourselves back to the dinner table.  But right now all I can think about is how tired and blargy I feel AGAIN, and how that makes me realllllly want some hot chocolate.  Mmmmmm.

Nightmare?

I had a dream last night about eating crackers, of all things. I don’t even like crackers! But in the dream, I had somehow devoured an entire Saltine without “realizing” it and then my husband had to stop me from eating more. And the dream’s biggest stressor was that I thought I had to start over with this month-long plan. Clearly I’m ready for Whole30 to be over!

That said, though, I’m more than ever looking forward to what our lifestyle/diet/nutrition will be beyond this. In many ways, the past two weeks have been about re-learning what we thought we knew about cooking, about food, and about vegetables. They aren’t so bad! Some are actually tasty! And many can be transformed or hidden in yummy things! I no longer think a grain-free diet would be that hard or that limiting. We’ve had plenty of tasty vegetable “sides” – one of the things I thought would be hardest.

After 14 days, I’d say I’m feeling pretty good now. Not nearly as “thicky” as the first 10 days or so. My energy does seem a little higher, but only once I’m two-cups-of-coffee-awake from a heavy sleep. Maybe it’s been harder to get out of bed because I’m just sleeping more deeply? That is, of course, when I’m not busy sleeping so lightly because my son keeps rolling/sniffling/talking to me…

This morning the scale says I’ve dropped a couple pounds, though I know now that is highly dependent on time-of-day/day-of-cycle/cycle-of-water-drinkage. Pounds or not, I do feel a little bit better and actually feel a little like I would dread now eating some of the things I enjoy. Namely, bread products. I’m not saying I won’t have them at some point, and I’m not saying I don’t miss them. I love myself some fresh bread and scones!  But I feel like I know immediately how I would feel if I did – bloaty and slow.  I’m much more excited to try “Paleo breads” and bars after our 30 days, since I’d like to have some of that variety available to me (I’m still crazy-sick of breakfast!)  I don’t anticipate honey wreaking havoc on my body (I’ve never noticed a negative response, like I have with wheat), so I’m excited to see what these fake-me-out bread products are like, as well as adding hopefully some greek yogurt back to my morning.

I’m glad to be halfway done, and glad to be feeling pretty good from this diet now.  We’re getting into a better groove, though it is still hard to “whip up” any and all meals because there really just is way more prep involved and way more cooking time.  But I know we’ll keep getting better at it, and I am looking forward to relaxing it at least a tiny bit once the 30 days is up.