This has been a weird week. We’re at the beach on vaca which is terrific but between the forever day at the amusement park, the lack of proper food packing/preparation and my vaca-mind trying to take over food choices, it’s just been weird. I’m not saying I was some crazy healthy eater before, but in comparison to vaca-mind, my regular self was pretty darn strong. Vaca-mind rationalizes everything (sure, pizza for breakfast is totally acceptable! I’m on vaca!) and views treats as an essential part of the experience (think: roadside ice cream, junk food from the local convenience store, french-fried delivery after the kids are asleep.) And chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
I realize that my connection to some of this food really is emotional, but after 25 days of this challenge, apparently that’s never going to change. The truth of the matter is, I enjoy it. It’s just that simple. Call it what you will, but I love indulging in a dark choco treat at night & it makes me happy. Isn’t that worth something? Won’t it make everything just a little bit better – happier mommy/wife/life and all that? And when it’s all calculated out – the stress, the sleep, the nutrition, the happiness quotient – is it definitive that the “best” eating habits (if we assume these are them) overrule the other factors? And more importantly, do I care?
This challenge has been valuable in many ways. I see so much potential in vegetables now and am so happy to be consuming so much produce. We had to make TWO trips to Whole Foods in just this one tiny beach week simply because as a family we consumed so much d*mn fruit & veg goodness. This pleases me on so many levels. My husband and I can eat entire veg-centric meals and feel happy & sated from them. Although we still feel tired/drained, I do believe our sleep has improved somewhat. My husband snores less and I’m sleeping more deeply so I hear it less. This is good for our marriage! And my body is definitely running differently without wheat and such clogging it up. But the reality is, this is no panacea and I don’t feel so amazing that I feel compelled to stay on it. I definitely want to continue it in many ways, but I’m looking forward to resume my “normal” food experiences, too. At this point, I think the future for me looks like many of the same meals, but mixed in with some things I just F*ng enjoy – the occasional latte, the dark chocolate evenings, some versions of bread that I think work for me/my body (I’ve done well in the past with Ezekiel bread), yogurt/homemade granola some mornings. A more realistic lifestyle that means I can still go out for my two drinks a month or have an occasional mommy b*tch session over Starbucks. Healthier me, but still happy me. Because apparently I’m on vaca and I really miss my vaca treats.