Ok. I’m a crank today. Hormones or tiredness or stress, who knows. Point is, I’m totally over this “not a diet but a diet-like lifestyle.” I’m struggling to see the rosiness of the big picture when the small picture is so dull and grainy. It’s Day 8 and I have yet to see even one benefit from this challenge. Do I understand that it will take time to reset the body? Sure. Do I recognize that this is a positive life choice forever? Absolutely. Do I want to continue? Not one bit. But I will.
Everything is hard. After a couple of years, I had just gotten into a kind of groove lately with cooking. I was able to get a nice meal on the table for our early-bird special almost every night, and even when it was stressful or time-crunched, I took pride in the fact that we could sit down together because of my weekly planning and daily prep. Now? Out the window, I have to learn everything all over again. I have zero “go to” recipes, no parts can be pre-made, and the ingredients I’m allowed to use are way more limited and many of them still missing from my pantry. I don’t feel like I have the time or energy to re-learn everything, and hate that I have to spend so much time reading again, searching for recipes, grocery shopping on a twice-a-day basis. My husband rocked out dinners last week, but I knew that wasn’t sustainable. He’s got work to do and the whole point of nap time (which has been veeerrryyyy limited lately, sigh) and night-before-time and crockpot-time is that I should be able to get it done even with two wild, fighting boys begging for attention. But I still don’t have a plan for tomorrow and I HATE feeling unprepared, like setting my alarm for a shoot without knowing where I’m going to get a camera.
And even with the changes, the new time stresses and the not-that-hard-suck-it-up meal prepping, I STILL wouldn’t be so grouchy if my body seemed to be enjoying this even a little! But I still have no increased energy (if anything, I’m more tired), my body still feels blargy (I would’ve bet ANYTHING that after a week of ‘food detox’ I would feel great), and — as I was thrilled to mention the other day — I haven’t lost an ounce. Possibly gained. And I still haven’t had any chocolate. WTF WHOLE 30???